Character – is Innate

Character is a kind of thing that we find not only in novels or films but in real life also. All the people around us, let it be friends, family, teachers or colleagues, each of them represent a different kind of character that we can always correlate with a movie or novel character. Many actors claim that when they play a negative role, they themselves start behaving like one in their real life and this shows that both the types of characters are inter related.

Why such a thought about character came in my mind is just because right now, I am influenced by a character of a novel which I have read recently. If you remember, everybody has that friend or colleague in any phase of their life who is foolish, dull, monotonous or dreary according to us. I am talking about a type of person whose actions are unintelligible to us and others. We like to mock such people in our own coterie and also to bluff about our bravery in that course of action instead of understanding the real reason behind their character.

After reading the novel and spending time with the character, made me realize that such people are comparatively more clever than us but in different areas. The character was the center for teasing and mocking among her colleagues but eventually she made up to the top management team because of her work and research skills. The people who once derided her were supposed to now work under her, still she did not try to take revenge by harassing them in return. She thought that such type that is “our type” are the most irresponsible, time wasting characters who does not understand the meaning of life. Eventually, everybody around her started respecting her and made an attempt to befriend her.

This character made me rewind through my memories and the characters of the people that they carried with them when I had interacted with them. This made me realize that every person has his or her own ideology or view about the things that are discussed during the interaction. Everybody has their own perspective for all kinds of things and we are not allowed to rate them or treat them otherwise.

This reminds me that who are we to judge or correct any person while everybody is merely a creation from same source. Every character has a flaw and we are supposed to either accept the person with that flaw or let them go as they are because they are created in such a way that we cannot undo. We may also have some flaw that are worth mocking but may be, we are too smart to accept it and thus, we think that others are too dense to notice it.

Fury – Not a Remedy

They started fighting viciously, just like that standing at the garden gates. They were shouting at each other furiously along with blocking the way for other people as they were standing right in middle of the exit gates. They calmed down a bit as the people around them started excusing themselves out amidst the two of them. They did move aside and tried to cool themselves by separating their ways.

Later in the evening siting on her chair in a relaxed positon, she started wallowing that part of their conversation which made her mad. At one minute they were talking and holding hands and at the other minute she was screaming on him. Not only was she furious but also she was tempted to walk out of his life and never to look at him again. But that would not solve her problems and the things that broke them apart would every time keep swirling in her mind.

He told her to think about it when she was alone and her mind was peaceful. Peaceful? As if she was a person who always liked to be agitated? But then again he thought that what he said was always veracious, like when he said he does not like to be followed. According to her, asking about your whereabouts and caring about you does not come into the category of following. But that simple thing was very hard for him to understand. Even if her mind was in a peaceful state right now she did not think that his assumptions were accurate.

Tired of thinking and making sense of some of the sentences he said she started to stare out of the window and saw a two wheeler passing by. The little girl on the two-wheeler caught her attention as she saw her sleeping happily on her mother’s shoulder as the vehicle moving. The smile and the innocence on the girl’s sleeping face did not show any worry of falling down, as she knew she was in her mother’s arms. Though she was just a toddler but the thought of safety occupies almost every small and big minds. Nobody can survive without thinking about their safety but still the little girl slept peacefully.

She stood up from her chair swiftly as the link between these situations struck her, the sleeping girl, her innocent face, her worried mother, his assumptions and her questions about his whereabouts. It all came rushing to her mind as if she was lost in a dark forest and suddenly had found a way. She started thinking about the things that she did unknowingly which led towards jeopardizing her relationship. She was able to understand the meaning of his words now that she had enough time to think over it and when she understood that she went to the same garden to meet him again.

Dreams and Capabilities – Tried and Tested

She stood there staring at the enormity of the colossal place which mesmerized her to the extent that she could not believe her eyes. She had imagined this place many times during her study period but she had not imagined that this would be the place where she could fulfill all her dreams. Whenever you study and read a subject or book, the level of your understanding depends on your capability to imagine the written words. The more you can imagine the more you can understand.

She had gone through this phase of imagining and understanding but still to imagine something that is completely out of your context is quit tough. Moreover, everybody around her made her believe that the place of work which she had imagined is quiet dangerous, especially for ‘girls’ and she had no other choice but to go on with that conjecture and dream a different kind of work which was easy for her according to them.

She gave a brief thought to the consequences also, but that typically involved some blabbering from the people who defined the work as dangerous and yes, she agreed it was dangerous but not of a level that she could not reach. Besides, being a person who loves challenges, she could not resist the urge to try some work that was out of her comfort zone.

Not trying even if you get an opportunity, did not define her and so she accepted the opportunity albeit the thousands of opposing voices screaming in her head. She took this risk just to prove to herself and others that there was no harm in trying difficult things. Trying and failing or trying and succeeding were two different sides of coins which she still had to explore.

At initial stage, it was very tough for her but she was mentally prepared for it. The time and courage that the challenge demanded was way out of her league but she stood there sturdily and adamantly. Give some time and things will get settled was the only motto she followed initially and that gave way to better understanding and patience. While going through the difficult time she had only one thing on her mind and that was to try to touch the moon. Chances of failure were high but that did not ignore the chances to succeed.

Finally, the turmoil in her mind about failure and success ended after some time. Yes, she was successful in the tasks which were defined dangerous and that she was able to achieve it by having some patience, giving time, being adamant and strong and ignoring some of the basic facts that the people around her claimed to have known out of the blue. She could not imagine the happiness that she felt after accomplishing the thing that she had just dreamed. She was not able to believe the amount of hard work she did to accomplish it as she had not been able to imagine the extent of her capabilities because she had settled for very less very soon. Had she not tried, she would not have succeeded and would never have tested her capabilities.

Standing there mesmerized she had not imagined all these things to happen to her that she thought could happen only in dreams.

Closed gates – An Inspiration

She was sitting on a bench at a sea shore and her gaze was focused on the thin line where the sea and sky met. She thought that how this never ending sea and sky actually meet in an abstract way. This was the most impossible thing in the world but it was actually made possible by mere illusion of our eyes. Is this what life is about to make the impossible things possible or is it about our vision or what people call it luck?

She tried to recall her childhood and wondered that whatever happened those 18 years ago was the driving force for her achievements or she was meant to be in this way. The answer to this question was never possible because past could not be undone and so the other what-if situation could not be experienced to get this answer.

Still, those old memories came rushing to her mind when she was passing through those same streets yesterday and she remembered the happy trips through the same street with her family. She observed the torn board, the closed gates covered by green wildlings, the rough black patches on the wall of the building and the lifeless area which was sprawled in many acres. When her father used to show them the open gates of the place, it was the complete opposite from now as it was also mixed with a combination of happiness and laughter coming from the place.

Later, she could feel the sadness in his voice when he showed the same place, years later with closed gates. This sadness indirectly pointed out that if these gates were open, their life, luxury, culture could have been different. They could have been able to fulfill their dream of touring every year, going to the places which were on their dream list and getting a private education.

Those closed gates motivated her and her family to work hard to achieve the target of luxurious life. They all including her did a good job of fulfilling their desire and are satisfied with what they have achieved. This forced her to think that if the what-if situation was true, then would she have been able to reach this level? If she got all she wanted in her childhood she might not have worked hard to achieve something that she already have. Maybe, she would have turned out to be a less active person and could have settled for same or less as she would not have learned to work hard.

Yes, she still felt her father’s sadness while looking at that place and she still imagined the glorious and wealthy childhood that would have followed but ultimately what matters is how you plan and live your future. This future is the result of the helplessness of her childhood. The motivation from the closed gates inspired her to work hard in the direction her goals which were already set at a high place and this eventually made way for her achievements. She was happy in the present situation but gazing at that horizon always makes you think about the same illusions of your life.

Writing inspiration – My Love

Sitting in one corner of a cabin with a bit of work and a lot of free time made me think of actually putting a writing option in action. The question that was hanging was how to write and when to write. But again, the main thing that makes all the writers wonder is that on what topic to write. So I thought let me start with my writing inspiration.

I had been reading a lot since I was in college, the basic reading involved all that cheesy romantic novels. I used to read them for hours irrespective of day or night. Eventually, I started to notice something else in those novels apart from the regular love story. I discovered that apart from love many things such as main character’s occupation, inspiration, other background people and things like that also mattered not only in novel but in our real life also.

Once I was thorough with the pattern of the novel I decided to search for some other topics to read. The only problem was it was hard for me to accept other things and so I ended up with same things. But this time I used to link those things with the love of my life and ultimately to my own love story. I really liked the novel ideas of hero and heroine spending time together, cooking, eating meals and meeting each other at office, discussing their issue by finding depth in their each and every word. This also helped me to improve some points in my relationship. Observing these things the person I love asked me to write our love story but again I thought that to write a story you need to have something happening in your life to talk about.

With this I left the idea of my love story and started content writing to get some practice to align my thoughts. Not only the content writing topics were boring but also they made me work as a robot. The only benefit I got from there was that I understood the flow of the story. Again, the same nagging started from my men to erg me to write what I like. Still, the lack of confidence in me led me to think and keep on reading.

You know that feeling that when you really like to do something but you are so much afraid about your failure that you can’t afford to even give it a try. I had that feeling for writing, not that I want to be a famous writer but because what if I would not be able to do justice to the things that I think and write. It is very important to write your thoughts because your thoughts had inspired you to start writing. If I could not explain those thoughts then it won’t be any good to write.

My love took over my dilemma by explaining the meaning of facing your own fears. He taught me to have confidence in myself, though I was not able to pull together the amount of confidence that he showed in me. He told me the most remarkable thing, that if I try and fail then either I would know that I have to learn and work hard or I could give it up as I would know that this thing is not meant for me and so I can move forward. Not trying would make me stuck there without knowing the consequences of trying.

So finally I decided to give it a try and I took a step forward by starting this blog. Thus, the true inspiration for me to write was not the novels and the books I read but the love of my life and this post is all dedicated to him.